My Everything
by Nightmare Nightingale
Summary: Ray Palmer didn't know what it was like to truly lose something, until he lost his everything. (semi spoiler for 3x09, I suppose)


Okay, so, I am a huge fan of Ray Palmer, and I feel like there is so much negative energy going towards the character, so I just had to fix it, and give him some love. After watching the newest Arrow episode, what hit me most was the whole Anna story; it just made my heart melt. Ugh. I just want to put him in my pocket! As much as I ship Raylicity, I had this idea in my head about a sort of OC character, JJ Loring, who,yes, is the daughter of Jean Loring, Moira's lawyer in season 2. I picture Jennifer Morrison (as a blonde) whenever I think of JJ, so I hope that helps you when you read the , enjoy the one-shot!

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**My Everything**

People died every day. They died from illnesses, murder, suicide, all sorts of things - it was just a part of life that Ray Palmer had accepted. But, it wasn't every day that someone he knew - someone that he _loved dearly _\- died.

She was his everything, and while it had been seven months since her death, he couldn't bring himself to admit it out loud that she was dead. It hurt him more than he let on - he was a workaholic before her death, but after, he basically spent twenty-four seven on his projects. He just wanted to forget. But he couldn't.

He missed her, though, and found himself by her grave ever Tuesday since she had left him. And this Tuesday was certainly no different.

He said his goodbyes to Felicity and the others that worked for him, and then headed toward his car. He sat in silence as he drove, letting the silence wash over him. It didn't take long for him to get to the cemetery - he knew the entire route by heart. He parked and grabbed the one rose that was sitting in the passenger seat of his car that he had bought earlier that day. He walked over to the familiar tombstone. He didn't have to read the words that were written - he had them memorized.

**Anna Erin Loring  
February 16th, 1983 - May 14, 2014  
Beloved daughter, sister, and friend**

It was his fault that she was gone.

If only he had been faster. If only he had been stronger.

Then, they wouldn't have been able to break his leg, and he would've been able to protect her.

Suddenly the sound of a twig snapping drew him out of his thoughts. He looked behind him, where the sound came from, and saw a familiar woman standing a few feet away. Her blonde hair was blowing in the wind, and her crystal blue eyes seemed to be staring in surprise.

"JJ," he said.

The woman gave a small smile.

"Ray," she replied. It was strange, how comforting his name sounded, coming from that woman's lips. It reminded him almost of Anna's soft voice.

JJ Loring was Anna's little sister. Ray didn't know her very well, personally, considering despite the fact that the two sister were close, their parents had had a messy divorce years ago, and while Anna stayed in Starling to be with her mother, JJ left for NYC with their father. The two hardly got to see each other, what with JJ's busy schedule as a lawyer. Ray himself had only met her a few times.

Last time Ray had seen the young woman, it was the day after Anna had died. There had been a whirlwind of things going on, that he hadn't properly gotten to talk to her, and then, as quickly as she had arrived in Starling, the younger Loring girl had left. Ray hadn't bothered to ask why - he knew. He was sure that if he could, he would leave Starling City, and never look back as well. But for some reason, though, Ray felt a strange sort of connection to Starling City. Despite the fact that everything reminded him of what he had lost, there were the happy memories, too.

JJ took a few steps towards Ray, though she still kept her distance.

"How are you, Ray?" she asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I'm fine," Ray replied.

JJ let out a small chuckle.

"That doesn't sound very reassuring," she said.

What did she want him to say? That there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't wish he had been the one instead of Anna? That he threw himself into his work, so he could avenge Anna's death? That everything was his fault, and he constantly blamed himself for it?

"I'm _fine_, JJ," he said again.

He could tell that JJ didn't quite believe him, but he was thankful when she didn't push it any further.

He suddenly realized that he knew nothing about what had been going on in JJ's life during the past seven months. Before everything had happened, Ray felt like he knew JJ almost as well as he knew Anna - after all, every day it seemed, Anna was telling him a different story about JJ's life. But now, without Anna around, JJ was like a stranger to him.

"What about you?" he asked.

Her attention went straight down to the ground. As soon as he saw her look so uncomfortable, he wished he could take it back. Clearly, what he had said hurt her in ways that he didn't understand. He was about to apologize for asking, when JJ finally looked up and spoke.

"I quit my job," she said, "I left New York. My dad died of a heart attack three months ago. I just couldn't be there, anymore. Everything reminds me of them. I couldn't stay any second longer. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Nothing feels right anymore…"

Tears started swelling up in JJ's eyes, and for some reason, Ray felt compelled to wrap her in a warm embrace. He closed the distance between the two of them, and pulled her in close.

This was all his fault, too. He couldn't help but blame himself. JJ didn't deserve to lose two people. Not when there was a way he could've stopped the loss of one of those people. Not when he could've saved someone, if only he was faster. Stronger. Better.

"Why don't you move here?" Ray found himself asking, before he could even process what he saying.

"I coincidentally know a guy," he continued, "he's head of Palmer Technologies, and he's been looking for a good lawyer. Ya know, just in case something happens."

JJ looked up at him with a frown on her face.

"But why?" She asked, "Why would you do that for me?"

He pursed his lips, trying to find the right answer.

"Because," he finally answered, "Nothing will ever make the pain go away. But, I think, being with other people who share your hurt, will make it not hurt so much. You and I both loved Anna very much, and I think she'd feel better knowing the two people that she loved most weren't hurting so much anymore."

A small smile played upon JJ's face again.

"Well," she said, "If you're serious, then I'm in. When do you want me to start?"

"Tomorrow would be as good as any day, I guess," Ray replied.

JJ let out a laugh - it wasn't like the one she had let loose earlier. This one, Ray could tell, was full of light heartedness, and cheer.

"Tomorrow it is, then."

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Ugh, I suck at endings, I know. I'm sorry, and I hope despite this ending, you enjoyed the one shot.

If you guys want me to do more with J.J. and Ray, please post here.

I might add her into a story I'm writing, on I might just do some one-shots with her in it; not quite sure yet. But I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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